The Firelord and the Princess: brother and sister
by idaydreamtoomuch
Summary: Trapped in a room like death, blanketed by a cloud of dread, hallucinations clinging to my face, depression something i often taste. Nails chipped, eyes dim, cheeks shallow, body thin. My misdeeds I am doomed to atone, I am by myself, all alone.
1. Not the person I used to be

A/N: Hi everyone! This is my first ever fanfiction! Yay! And its about Azula. I know its a very common topic, but I just had to write it my way to satisfy my wandering mind on what happen after the war. Azula might seem OOC in this, you have been warned...I just think time in solitary confinement sure changes you. Um, and its kinda short. But shorter means easier to read right? :)

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Prolouge:

_It's been 5 years after the war. _

_The 4 nations are finally at peace with each other. _

_Almost every city and town have recovered. _

_Everyone is happy._

_Well, almost._

_ Azula is a half-crazed emotional wreck, _

_trying to figure out what in Agni's name is she doing on this earth. _

_So this is her story._

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Chapter 1: Not the person I used to be

Azula wasn't the person she used to be, and she knew it. The once calculative, manipulative and feared firebending prodigy was now reduced to an insane, hallucinating and frail asylum patient. Azula snorted. She knew she was pathetic, and it disgusted her.

She looked around her room. It was considered a more comfortable accommodation than the other rooms in the asylum, definitely the firelord was behind this. _Firelord_. Before the 5 years in this place she would have did anything to be called Firelord Azula. But now, she wasn't so sure. Time in solitary confinement sure changes your mindset. She shook her head. What had happened to her, to go weak in the head? Right now, what she yearned for, though she would never admit in a million years, was not really the throne, but some form of human contact, some sort of appraisal.

Not the kind of human contact where the doctors pinned her down to take tests, but the kind of human contact that gave her a warm gentle feeling. Not the kind of appraisal where the nurses applauded her for living through multiple jabs, but the kind of appraisal that made her feel on top of the world. The kind that Ty Lee and Mai used to give her. She had almost forgotten what it felt like to be hugged by Ty Lee, or touched on the shoulder by Mai.

She craved for someone to compliment her, to tell her how great she was, even though she knew perfectly well she wasn't. She wanted the adoring look Ty Lee often gave her, the oh-so-subtle look of awe in Mai's eyes when she trained to the upmost perfection, the admiration of the soldiers when they listened to her strategies, even the approving look of the imperial firebenders. She wanted their love. Wait, why was she even thinking about those traitors? They all followed the avatar in the end, and her pathetic excuse of a brother, she thought with a scowl on her face.

And yet, deep down inside, Azula knew she was even more pathetic than her brother and the avatar. She knew those_ traitors_ felt real respect and admiration for them. Zuzu probably earned those things by defeating her(well technically the water tribe peasant did), by going against their once revered father, and maybe for actually living as a fugitive for a short period of time. The avatar was respected because he was well, the avatar. Plus he defeated the Phoenix King.

She? Azula knew people respected her out of fear, petrified she might burn them to a crisp, But you could hardly call that respect could you? In truth, Azula was really tired. Tired of putting up this front, this front that she wanted the throne, wanted to avenge her father. She just wanted…hell, she didn't even know what she wanted to do in her life! Not that she had much of a life. _I really and truly am pathetic._ Azula thought.

She stared at her hands. Her once sharp and polished nails were chipped and filthy. Her once strong hands that could support her in a one-handed somersault were thin and if you look a little closer, shaking. She wished she could be what she used to be, a firebending prodigy. Firebending gave her such a thrill. When she firebended, she felt strong. She felt powerful. _She felt perfect_.

But she had not firebended since 4 years and 4 months ago. Yes, despite her madness, she could still count. Azula had tried to kill the guard that brought her her food. She wanted to set him on fire, just like she wanted to do that to everyone else who had betrayed her. But madness had made her slow. He still got burnt, but escaped with his life. Azula laughed. She had almost got him. Zuzu had then visited her personally, threatening her that should she ever attempt firebend again, the asylum would not hesitate to chain her to the wall, to leave her hands pinned on it so she was pretty much immobile. Zuzu's fierce expression, and the thought of being immobile, made her blanched then. They had already taken her honour, her freedom, and the last thing she needed was to have her mobility taken away from her. Yes, she was a coward too.

She still practiced the different techniques, without the fire of course. Or tried to. Often she was left crying in despair at the fact that she couldn't even get her stance right. Yes, she definitely was not the person she used to be. Suddenly she felt the urge to see a brilliant azure flame dance across her room. She wanted to be reminded of the firebending prodigy she used to be. Azula sneaked a glance at the guard. Huh! He was snoring like a elephant-bear. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and punched her arm out. She grinned in delight as a flame shot out from her palm.(**a/n: notice she does not try to use her two fingers.) **Not as powerful as before, but a sizable flame no less. But she then noticed that something wasn't right. (This was one effect of her insanity: She was slow to deduce.)She realized her flame was** orange**!

But, how can that be? Her flames were supposed to be blue! Frantically she shot flame after flame from her limbs, but the fire remained orange. There were tinges of blue in it, but still. Azula heard the fire taunt her. "Expected me to be blue, didn't you, Azula?" It mocked. "Nooooooooo!" She let out an ear-piercing scream as her knees buckled and she crumpled to the floor. Tears streaked her face as she unleashed her fury on the ground. With clenched fists she punched the floor. This was the final straw. The world really wanted to strip her of everything. Now, her reputation was gone too. Azula could control herself no longer. She screamed again, letting loose all the fire she could muster. She let loose her anguish, her shame, her humiliation and everything else in between.

"Azula, my love?"

Azula turned around. Through her tears, she saw a lady standing there in red robes. The top part of her hair was pulled into a bun with the fire nation emblem in it, while the bottom part hung loose. Not a single strand of hair was out of place. She looked perfect. She _was _perfect. This made Azula more enraged. "Get out of here mother! Get out!" She shrieked. She knew the guard would have woken up and called the staff to sedate her, but she didn't care.

"Azula…" her mother started, a sad expression on her face.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I CAN"T HEAR YOU!" Azula chanted, her hands tightly clasped over her ears.

"I want to help you…"

Azula knew what her mother would say next. _"…you monster." _

Her eyes grew big wild and she aimed at the voice with both hands, shooting out a blast of fire.

"STOP IT!"

And that was how the nurses and doctor found her, firebending at nothing, screaming blue murder. The nurses sneaked up from behind her and poked her chi points, then tightly held her arms. Ty Lee had conveniently taught them when she visited once. "You never know when you might need it!" the cheerful woman had said. The doctor held a herb concoction over a candle and wafted the gas produced towards Azula's nostrils. The nurses felt her trashing form struggle less.

The doctor then poured a brown liquid down Azula's throat. She felt the ground shake a little and she lost her balance, crashing onto the floor. "Transfer her…room charred…unsafe…" Azula caught bits and pieces of the conversation.

"Azula, my dear, get well soon. You'll soon be back to normal, just like you used to be." Azula heard her mother's voice.

"No, I'm not the person I used to be." Azula whispered, before everything spun, and she fell into a deep sleep.

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A/N: So how was it? I know its quite dumb and lame. Bleh! :( And Azula fans, PLEASE DON'T STRANGLE ME! I just thought that she would have lost touch with firebending, she hasn't been practicing after all! And a prodigy, no matter how good, still need practice! So, i'm open to constructive criticism, but I would rather be spared from flaming please. And if everyone says this is horrible, I'm still going to finish it, no matter what! So there! :)


	2. Author's note

Author's note

Hey guys! So if you've realized I haven't been updating frequently. I should be more enthusiastic right? But I have the dreaded E-O-Ys, otherwise known as END OF YEAR EXAMINATIONS! Gasp! Yup, so I won't be updating too frequently until October. *sobs* But I will be totally immersing myself in Avatar goodness the moment my exams are over! 'Then why did you start a fanfiction account so close to your exam?' Because I wanted to! Ok, so to point out typos in the first chapter:

First paragraph: Was **now** reduced...

Towards the ending: wafted **herbs**

So, another reason there is an author's note is because I have trouble coming up with names. I'm not going to tell you who they are for, that would ruin the fun, but if anyone has a suggestion I would appreciate if you could PM me or write it in the review section. I think names are really important in a story you know! Bad names just ruin the atmosphere! So, my next chapter won't be so heavy like my first one, which was so sucky. It's gonna be a little more happy, which obviously means it's not gonna be about Azula. I actually have half of it recorded down in my phone, because I take one hour to get home by public transport, so while I'm in the train I sit there and think about my story.

Wait, and there is something I'm itching to talk about. So I just read Sozin's vomit: An Avatar Parody by Dangotastic, which was hilarious, and she pointed out a loophole in the ending, among other loopholes, which I never noticed before! How could I be so oblivious? So, she pointed out that when Katara froze Azula, Azula didn't melt the ice like Zuko did when he was frozen in season one. Azula fire is so much hotter and it was Sozin's comet! She couldn't be that crazy to not realize that fire melts ice right? Ah well. I'm just sad Azula isn't as badass as she used to be. Ok, I know I'm not supposed to use this space for discussion. (So sue me! )

Yup. Ok. Until next time!


	3. No One

A/N: MY. EXAMS. ARE. OVER. *stands stiffly in disbelief.* After 9 papers from hell, I am finally FREE! Just kidding. My exams weren't that bad, but I feel so liberated. :) So first thanks to my reviewers: Pandaclaw, Jeey, Random Shell and moyashi-neechan. And to moyashi-neechan, you do have a point there about Azula. Before her descent she would never have let anymore trap her, like for example at the end in a block of ice, cos she would have finish them off first. :) So Zuko triumphs in this aspect. GO ZUKO!

Yup anyway so I mentioned in the first chapter that this chapter was supposed to be less heavy. But now I changed my storyline. And I was actually suppose to introduce Zuko now but I'm doing Azula first. AND I'm not satisfied with this. It's too short and it seems to move to fast. But I have lots of time to improve my writing abilities now that EXAMS ARE OVER. Yup, so please bear with this for now. :)

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Chapter 2: No One...

_She was standing in a field. Multihued flowers dotted the field and butterflies flitted around her. Reaching out her hand to touch one, a small one with ruby-coloured wings landed on her hand. It tickled and she giggled. _

"_I'm coming to get you!" A lady called out, a warm smile on her face._

_Azula took off laughing. The wind whipped around her and she felt her bangs flying. The sound of the lady's footsteps got closer. Azula looked behind her and screamed in delight. They ran and ran and ran. Azula ran until she felt her lungs would burst. Finally she couldn't take it anymore and stopped._

_She and the lady collapsed in a heap. The lady tickled her ribs. Azula laughed so hard no sound came out. _

"_St-stop!" She gasped, a tear escaping her eye._

_The lady gave her cuddle. "I love you Azula."_

_Azula just hugged her tighter._

Azula blinked open her eyes. For a moment she was in the lush green fields and the breeze caressed her face. But then she snapped back to reality. She was in a room that was definitely not the previous one she was living in. Still cold and grey though…she observed. It was smaller and lacked the previous luxuries. She lifted her arms to rub the sleep from her eyes. Her wrists felt strangely heavy.

'Clink!' Azula realized she could not move her arms past her ribs. _No!_ Her eyes widened in realization. They couldn't have. They just couldn't have. She looked down apprehensively. A thick metal band encased each wrist, the chains attached to them fitted into the floor.

Azula felt rage rise from deep inside her. How dare they chain me like a peasant! How dare they chain the crown princess of the fire nation! How dare they! Azula continued spiting them in her mind. She squeezed her eyes shut in anger. ARGHH…

Suddenly she was aware that her pants were a little damp. Opening her eyes she realized that her clenched fists which were resting on her thighs were dripping blood onto them. Azula unclenched her hands. Little red crescent moons indented her palms. Little streams of ruby followed the creases. Her nails were blunt and yet they cut through her skin. Azula's hands started to shake violently as the revelation hit her. I have never lost control of my emotions that badly before. The day before…and now…5 years ago…I'm really losing it…The idea of losing it completely until she didn't even know who she was never crossed her mind.

Sure all geniuses were said to be a little mad, and even everyone has a mad streak in them, she had a little more than just a streak, but to really lose it completely?

Azula felt a sudden surge of helplessness. She was crazy. Insane. Mad. A lunatic. She was never going to recover. She was going to rot her life away in this asylum forever. No will visit her. No one will even remember her. "Who on earth is Azula?" The people who knew her would scrunch up their noses in unfamiliarity. She would die alone and in isolation. No one will even care. No one…

She submerged further into the pool of self-pity. A hot angry tear rolled down her grimy cheek. Then another. And another. Soon she was drowning in sorrow. Rivers of salty tears stained her cheek and she kicked her heels on the ground repeatedly.

"IT'S. NOT. FAIR!" She shrieked. She deserved better. She was the princess for crying out loud!

Banging her head against the wall she screamed and screamed. The doctors and nurses winced when they walked past her room. No one dared to go any closer than the door that separated them from her fury. She'll calm down… eventually…

Hours later Azula found herself hoarse with sore heels and a throbbing headache. Too proud to ask the nurses to wipe her tears and snot away, she arranged herself into the most comfortable position she could find. Before long her eyelids drooped and she drifted off to a fitful sleep. She thought to herself,

No one loves me…

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A/N: Yup... so until next time. Oh, and a little question for you to play with: Azula was supposed to become firelord Azula. So let's say she did become firelord and after that she married. Then what would her husband be called? He can't be firelady. That's just wrong... So is he Firelord's lord? Fireman? Firehusband? I don't know...And don't tell me no one will marry Azula. The royal family's expected to have a spouse aren't they? :)


	4. I needed that

A/N: Hey people! Ok, so firstly, I'm sorry I am so slow in updating. I did say my exams were finished but I still have school and I have to prepare for open house(public comes to school to check out modules etc.)and a drama performance. But 2 more days...then I'M TRULY FREEEE!

So anyway, thanks to my reviewers: zutarababe, SparkleSparkle, carcrafter7. I appreciate it. I really do.

zutarababe: Gosh you're right! :) Firebending does need taking in a deep breath. Anyways, Azula still lost the battle in the end. *sobs when Azula starts shooting fire everywhere*

SparkleSparkle: Thanks for the names. I will use them later on in the story. :)

carcrafter7: Thanks. :) Zuko WILL help Azula, but it won't be so soon. You'll just have to wait and see.

So I've decided to respond to all my reviews. :)

I'm a little bit more satisfied with this than my previous chapters. Maybe 'cos it's not so dark and heavy. Anyway, I would like to say first that I'm a MAIKO fan. Sorry Zutarians, even if I didn't like Kataang I'll still like Maiko. One is a ex-disturbed-and-angry guy and the other is a suppressed, emotionless on the outside lady. The show might have influenced me but I still believe they're PERFECT for each other! I also would like to apologise if the Zuko and Mai part is too dead. I can't write romancy stuff or I don't feel comfortable writing romance. Anyway it isn't supposed to be fluffy or romancy, it's just finding comfort in each other.

On with the story.

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Chapter 2: I needed that

Zuko frowned. He looked at the pile of paperwork on his table and sighed. It would seem that things would have settled after 5years. Peace treaties, budget requests, meetings that go on forever…Zuko felt that he would go mad any second. Even worse, assassination attempts by a rebel group had started to appear. Just two days ago he was having a nice hot cup of jasmine tea when a dagger pierced through the porcelain, narrowly missing his hand. Luckily, he had a beautiful woman and a wonderful daughter by his side to keep him grounded. He smiled at the thought of Aika. At 2 she had chubby cheeks and sparkly eyes. Zuko wondered what Mai and their daughter were doing. Argh! He just wanted to escape from all this and spend time with them. Resting his elbows on his desk and rubbing his temples with his thumb, Zuko closed his eyes to try to prevent the oncoming headache.

"Firelord!" A voice snapped him out of his little break.

Zuko looked up sharply, more than a little irritated about being disturbed. The messenger looked at him and seemed to shrink a little under his gaze.

"Uh…should I come back later my lord?" he stammered.

Zuko then realized he was wearing a rather deep-knitted frown on his face. Coupled with his scar, he probably looked like he was ready to murder that guy. He sighed again. He really did not want to intimidate his servants, but with all the stress he was experiencing they would probably be looking at this expression permanently.

"No, it's fine. What is it?" Zuko tried to use his most patient voice.

"A message from the Jin Li Mental Facility. It is marked as important."

Zuko' eyes widened. A message from the facility could only mean one thing.

Azula.

Zuko reached out his hand to take the scroll. The messenger, too happy to escape the room before the Firelord could injure him, quickly complied. He bowed and practically dashed out. Zuko stared at the white parchment. He couldn't seem to bring himself to open it. You travelled the world with only your clothes on your back, finally stood up to your father and survived a deadly lightning attack, but you're too afraid to read a simple message? He shook his head at his fear and unrolled the scroll, albeit with shaking hands. Had something serious happen to his sister? Much as he would rather not admit, he still felt a lot of concern for her. The reason he never felt the need to protect her until she went insane was because he always thought she knew how to take care of herself. She was always so independent and strong willed. And besides she was so mean. But he guessed underneath that ruthless exterior laid the soul of a very insecure girl. He read the scroll. Then he reread it again.

To his royal highness, his excellancy, Firelord Zuko

Firelord:

This message is to inform you that Princess Azula has suffered a mental breakdown, the worst one since she had burn the guard 4 years ago. We are unsure of the cause, but we suspect it was a hallucination. This message was intended to inform you that the princess' condition was stable and she was almost ready to be released, but after this incident she had proved otherwise. We have transferred her to another room as she had severely charred her previous accommodation. We seek compensation for the damage. Also, the princess' hands, instead of being chained to the wall as you had previously instructed us, are now chained to the floor. It is more effective in restricting her. Please inform us if you would like us to act upon her differently.

Thank you.

-Po San

Head Doctor of Jin Li Mental Facility

Zuko shook his head. Azula had been progressing so well, what had caused her to break down again? Only she would know. He felt his heart sink a little. He always had a little fantasy that Azula would become sane and they would make up and become one big happy family again. Zuko knew it would probably never happen, but he could dream, couldn't he? However, now he could see that it would never happen. Ever.

"Firelord, it's time for the meeting." Lee Heng, his personal assistant, entered his office.

"Thank you." He rolled up the scroll and left it on the table. He'll take care of it later.

Zuko gave Aika a hug.

"Goodnight daddy." she yawned and her eyelids fluttered.

"Goodnight …" he kissed her forehead before leaving her bedroom with Mai behind me.

Opening the door to their own room, they walked in with as much dignity as they could muster at the end of a long day. It was only after Zuko closed the door behind them that their shoulders slumped and faces turned weary.

"Ugh! What a day!" Mai flopped on the bed un-regally. Most would consider her voice monotonous but people who really knew her like her husband would know that her voice was laced with tiredness. She had to take care of Aika, which wasn't that hard, but then she had to go for a 2 hour embroidery session with the other noble ladies, which she liked to call a 'fancy-pancy waste of time'. If that's not enough, she had to make visits to several noble estates to ensure good ties with them. Mai had to listen to the nobles go on and on about politics. If they thought she actually liked listening to that everyday just because she was the firelord's wife, then they couldn't be more wrong. She knew that these responsibilities came with marrying Zuko, but sometimes she wished she had a break.

"Tell me about it!" Zuko pulled the crown of his head, letting his shaggy hair flop around his face. Both Mai and he pulled off various layers of clothing. Apparently the fire nation thought that the royal family was not suffocated enough with the extreme heat that they had to give them even more layers to put on. Crawling onto the large plush bed with only their thin robes on, Zuko and Mai pulled the blanket off the sheets and lay down. It was just too hot.

"Goodnight Zuko."

"Goodnight."

Mai watched as the frown on Zuko's face never came off. His mind was definitely not with her.

"Something's bothering you." she remarked. Well technically there was always something bothering Zuko but today it seemed that he was really bothered. He sighed heavily.

"I received news from the mental facility today." he said, looking up at the ceiling. Mai's eyes widened.

"And?" Mai edged him on. She still felt a little concern for her ex-friend, although she would never admit it. They had some good times. Zuko told her everything.

"Oh." Mai could only think of that to say. She wasn't one of those people who said stereotypical stuff like "She'll get better." or "She'll pull through.". And honestly, she herself wasn't sure Azula would actually be okay. Zuko's eyes shone. Mai could safely guess what was bothering him now.

"Hey…"she moved over and put her arm under his neck, wrapping her hand around his shoulder and resting her head on the other.

"I really wanted her to get well. She was so cruel, but she is still my sister," Zuko's voice broke. "I know that even if she got well she might not change her attitude but…I just want her to be okay."

Mai didn't have anything to say, so she comforted him with her actions. Propping herself up on her elbows, she gave him a slow kiss. When Zuko's eyes threatened to overflow, Mai pulled him up to a sitting position and engulfed him in a warm embrace. He rested his head on her shoulder, his arms clinging to her like his life depending on it. The overwhelming stress from his duties and his sister slowly melted away from him. Gradually Zuko's eyes dried and he returned Mai's earlier kiss.

"Thanks. I needed that." Mai had that wonderful ability to calm him down when no one else could. Mai yawned.

"I wouldn't want you blubbering all over the pillows. Now go back to sleep." Mai's softer side went into hiding as quickly as it came out and she flopped back onto her pillow. After all, she still was feeling exhausted from her duties during the day.

Zuko just smiled.

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A/N: How was it? Oh...I just realised I named all my chapters based on what a character says in my story...Ok nevermind!Irrelevant!

Actually another reason I took so long to update this is that I couldn't decide on a name for Zuko's daughter. I wanted something that not only sound nice, but had a meaning to it. Sorry, I'm just like that.

So, Aika: Ai is Chinese and Japanese for love. I would think that Zuko would want her to remember she is loved. You know, Zuko had no love from daddy. Mai also didn't get lots of affection. (I also found out Suki means love. Woah.)

Ka is beautiful in Japanese. I would think that Zuko and Mai want to remind Aika that in their eyes she is beautiful inside and out, no matter what others say. Again, Zuko probably felt self conscious of his scar(outer beauty). Mai probably knew that people called her dull and dreary(sort of inner beauty).

So until next time! :)


	5. Old Habits Die Hard

A/N: Helloo! So there was another part attached to this but I got lazy typing. So answering-to-reviewers time!

Thank you to Anonymous, who has reminded me to change the status of this fic. I kinda realised what the status thingy meant a while ago but forgot/couldn't be bothered to change the status. Yup, so thanks!

Anyway, I was thinking of doing drawings to go with this fic. I'm not a fantastic artist, especially when it comes to drawing people, but I'm still gonna try. I've already tried an Azula. Hmm...

_

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Chapter 4: Old Habits Die Hard

_This time she was sitting under a tree, eating a bowl of firebeef rice and scrunching her nose in disgust at the other children playing fire and ice. How immature! She thought to herself. The little 7-year-old girl inside her wanted to play along but that would be downgrading herself, wouldn't it? She was royalty after all. Azula stared at the ground while she used her chopsticks to take up a piece of firebeef. Hmm…what would happen if she tried to burn the little ants crawling through the grass? They'll become fireants. She would actually be doing them a favour of making them more feared. Azula laughed at her joke inwardly._

_ Suddenly, she was aware of a figure approaching her. Azula recognized the little girl from her class, and she could tell that if the little girl had a choice she would wear something ridiculously pink instead of the academy's red and gold uniform. Her long brown hair was tied into a braid and it flipped around dangerously as she cartwheeled towards Azula. Hmm…very flexible. The princess made a mental note to use that ability to her advantage if she needed it one day._

_"Hello! I'm Ty Lee!" the little girl plonked down next to her and offered her a bright smile._

_"Don't you think I know that? You're in my class. Anyway, haven't you better things to do than sit here and waste my time?" Azula shot her an annoyed look. Ty Lee looked hurt but quickly recovered and grinned._

_"Well, you look lonely, so I decided to accon..aca..accompany you!" the girl that should have been in pink struggled with the difficult word but continued smiling._

_"Do you know who I am? I am Princess Azula of the Fire nation! Now if you don't get out of my sight I will release a battalion of armadillo bears against you!" she hissed. Ty Lee's eyes shined with tears._

_"I-I was j-just trying to be nice." Ty Lee swallowed a sob and walked away quietly. Azula felt a stab of guilt. Maybe she was too harsh. Wait, royalty never feels regret for an action or feel sorry. It was a sign of weakness, according to her father. Azula sniffed with pride, and continued eating her lunch._

_Azula don't know what came over her, but here she was, after lunch, standing behind Ty Lee. She tapped her on the shoulder._

_"My mum's wants me to invite more people to the palace. I'm only asking you now because I don't want to hear her constant nagging. " she acted as bored and disinterested as she could, as if it was a normal occurrence for her to invite classmates over to the palace. Ty Lee's face lit up as bright as the sun._

_"Yes yes yes! Oh, and could I bring a friend along?" she gushed, her big eyes bright. Azula rolled her eyes and nodded. Whatever. She didn't really care._

_"Mai! Can you follow me to the palace? Princess Azula has invited me!" a girl sitting a few rows down Ty Lee's seat turned her head. She wore two buns on her head and an indifferent expression. Azula had never seen anyone as dreary and dull as that. How could Ty Lee, the constantly cheery and bright sunshine, be friends with this Mai girl? Opposites really do attract (in terms of friendship in their case of course)._

_"Whatever pleases you." Mai replied in a deadpan voice, before the teacher came and asked them back to their seats._

Azula opened her eyes. She was angry with her brain. Why must it remind her of those traitors? She was doing just fine pushing them to the back of her mind and they had to bring them up in her dreams. It wasn't the first time it had done this to her. In fact, this happened frequently. Stupid brain!

Her stomach growled. She looked out of the window to see the sky a shade of dark sapphire. It must be dinnertime then.

Almost the instant she thought of that, a nurse opened the door of her cell. Azula expected to see the sour pruned face of the nurse who had been delivering food to her for the past 3 years. Instead, a young girl came in. She looked only a few years older than her, or might even be the same age. She was only a child!

"You're finally up. The dinner round just ended but we saved some food for you." The girl looked cheerful but Azula, who happened to be especially lucid at the moment (she tended to be more lucid when she wakes up from a good rest), could see the nervousness in her eyes.

"I assume you are new here?" Azula questioned pompously.

"Um…yes. How did you know?" the nurse smile uncertainly.

"I'm a people person. And I assume you know who I am."

"Yes."

"Well then, the unspoken rule here, is that no one speaks to me unless necessary or unless spoken to. I may be stuck here but I still have royal blood in my veins. Is that understood?" Azula never told her that no one spoke to her unless it was to taunt her or to ask her to cooperate with their medical procedures, and that the reason she didn't want her to talk to her was that she loathed the feeling of helplessness should the nurse taunt her.

"Yes, princess." The nurse doesn't know how vulnerable I am, Azula deduced, because she took my word. She probably would have given Azula a disapproving or smug look had she talked to the other nurses who used to take care of the fallen princess. Ah well, nothing like instilling fear into a fresh mind, she thought, albeit a little bitterly. Old habits do die hard.

* * *

A/N: How was it? Ok? Not ok? Anyway, just in case you don't understand the last line, I was referring to azula trying to instill fear to the nurse. You know, like even when she is crazy, she is still attempting to use fear to control people? Yup...oh! oh! And the fireant joke in the first part? Fireants are stinging ants and their bites hurt alot. So, you know, the joke is almost like a play on words? Like they're lit on fire so they're fire...ants? Get it? Nevermind if you don't. Just pardon my lameness then.

Oh, and can anyone tell me what the white open scroll thingy with a red c means? It only comes out next to some fics and in mobile edition. I've been racking my brain on what it means and come seem to figure out what it means. Anyone care to enlighten me? :)

Till next time!


	6. Unfortunate encounter

A/N: Hey guys! So I'm leaving for Japan tomorrow for an educational programme. Therefore, I will be MIA for about a week. Ah well...I'm sort of excited but not excited for it.

Anyway, thanks to M.L. for reviewing. To reply to your review, its not that Zuko wants to leave Azula all alone, but he's got a whole nation to take care of. :) So its hard to visit his sister often, but he does visit monthly in my fic. :) And as for the second part of you review...you'll just have to wait and see...*inserts evil laughter here*

So on with the story!

* * *

The nurse looked a little dejected. Azula couldn't care less. She eyed the bowl of porridge on the tray.

"Please unchain my hands now. I would like my dinner." Azula ordered the nurse.

"Um…actually I'm supposed to assist you…" her eyes darted around. She was afraid to look at the princess straight in the eye. Azula took a few seconds to understand what the nurse was implying. Her eyes widened in shock and anger.

"WHAT? HELL NO! I WILL NOT BE FED LIKE A BABY! GET OUT! GET OUT NOW!" Azula shouted. She would NOT allow them to make an utter fool of her.

"But…but…"the young nurse stuttered. She had never faced a patient without supervision before, and had no idea how to control the situation.

"I SAID GET OUT! AND DON"T EVER COME BACK AGAIN!" Azula shrieked. The nurse practically ran out of the room. She was rather shaken by her new patient and didn't know how she was going to cope with her.

Azula fumed. Were they trying to destroy her? Did they want her to die from embarrassment? "Hey guess what, the crazy princess now needs people to feed her!" She would not give them the satisfaction of shaming her. She would not allow them to treat her like that. She would keep whatever shred of dignity she had left. Azula stared out of the window. One day she would get out of this place, and she would get her revenge on this people. Maybe I do want to become Firelord after all, she thought. Firelord Azula. She liked the sound of that.

* * *

Azula drifted in and out consciousness. She had not eaten or drunk anything for 3 days. Whenever one of the staff tried to feed her, she would bite their hand or just refuse to open her mouth. Now she was starved and dehydrated. The fallen princess knew she would drift off into an eternal sleep soon. But then the agony would end wouldn't it? Plus she could exact revenge on a certain Firelord. She knew he cared about her and if she died it would shatter him. Azula couldn't help being so cruel and sadistic. She was raised like that. It would be getting back at Zuzu. She smiled- a crooked twisted smile. Then she started laughing. It became weaker and weaker as her eyelids slowly drooped. At the break of dawn, Azula, the insane princess of the fire nation, went limp, and no one knew.

Azula opened her eyes and found herself in a beautiful forest. The trees displayed golden leaves and silver flowers. They glittered in the light. A thick fog hung in the air. Is this the spirit world? She thought to herself. Azula walked to the swamp. The brackish water seemed to sparkle in a magical way. "Am I the only thing that doesn't sparkle here?" she muttered to herself, as a sparkly butterfly flitted past her. This was weird, almost surreal. Is this where she was supposed to stay for eternity? It didn't really entice her that much, though. Suddenly, a shadow appeared behind her. Azula turned around, and the shadow disappeared. She spun round, trying to locate the being that owned the black non-matter. A man stood at the top of the hill. He smirked when Azula spotted him, and disappeared down the other side.

"Hey! Wait up!" the princess followed suit and ran up the hill. Ignoring the scenery around her, and the fact that she was going off the path and deeper into the sparkly woods, Azula soon found herself facing a dark cave. That's strange…He must have gone in…She stepped into the shadows, her heart thumping twice as fast. There was something about this place that unnerved her. It was so dark, and eerie. She shivered.

"Hello?" _skitter…skitter…_What was that? She whipped her head around. There was nothing there. She stared a second longer at the large roots that had grown and intertwined themselves into the walls of the cave. Parts stuck out, suspended in mid-air. Azula narrowed her eyes, making sure that none of them showed any sign of movement. She breathed out, relieved.

"Hello." She faced front again, only to stare into two dark eyes. Azula screamed.

"Grave mistake, child." the monster, or whatever it was, grinned, and the white face with black spheres that encircled his eyes turned into a triangular head, with yellow orbs and long white fangs. _A viper._

"Do you know who I am child? Or should I say, Princess Azula of the Fire Nation?" Azula stood board stiff, trying her best to stop shivering, as the centipede-like creature ran its forked tongue round the curve of her jaw.

"N-no."

"I am one of the oldest spirits, maybe even the oldest. I've seen Tui and La when they still resided in the spirit world you know. My name is Koh, or as people like to call me, the _face-stealer._" Azula eyes widened as the face changed from a viper to a beautiful woman with flowing brown hair, and then to a baboon as he started to laugh.

"I-I should go…"she turned around to the entrance and made a dash for it.

"TOO LATE!" Koh intercepted her and smiled. His original black and white face returned.

"You showed emotion, my dear, and I shall have to STEAL YOUR FACE!"

Azula pressed her back to the walls made of soil, as Koh came closer and closer…

* * *

A/N: AHAHAHAHA! CLIFFHANGER! Anyway, I'm sorry this is kinda rushed and short. I wanted to update before I left for my trip. I'll upload a long chapter here when I come back. Promise!

Hasta La Vista!


	7. Unfortunate Encounter Part 2

A/N: Hey hey hey I'm BAACK! I thoroughly enjoyed myself, in case you're wondering. So I think you can guess what happens to Azula? It's kinda obvious, right? :)

Anyway, thanks to Lilac Rose6 and ML for reviewing! I really appreciate it, and it encourages me to continue writing! :)

So let the story continue!

* * *

Chapter 6: Unfortunate Encounter Part 2

Azula screamed as Koh the face-stealer's red lips stopped just 2 inches from her nose. He grinned, and grabbed her arms with his spider-like legs. She felt a pulling sensation, as if her face was being sucked out. The fallen princess tried to scream but her breath seemed to be sucked out as well. All she could see was swirling pools of white as she slowly lost her features to Koh. It was painful, to say the least. Imagine your face being attacked by a toilet plunger, and then multiply it by 20. Finally Koh let go off Azula. She collapsed onto the floor, reaching for her face. It was smooth, like porcelain. No eyes, no nose, no mouth no..no…

Azula gasped for breath but the relief never came to her lungs. She couldn't breathe! She reached around aimlessly, her eyes lost to her as well.

"Help me! Please!" Azula screamed, but no sound came out. Her lungs burned with lack of oxygen and it was funny that in her predicament the only thought that came to her was that she was drowning on dry land. Ironic…

"Please, Koh, give the princess her face back. She's not meant to be here. You know the rules." a man's voice rang though the cave, although emotionlessly. His words melted into each other as Azula slowly lost consciousness. Can't breathe…

* * *

Azula opened her eyes…wait, eyes? She touched her face and was pleasantly surprised to find that her features were back and she could breathe again.

"You're up!" Azula recognized the voice. It was the same man who saved her from Koh. She shuddered at the thought of the creepy face stealer.

"Are you okay, Princess Azula?" the man smiled and offered his hand to help her up. She ignored it and pulled herself off the floor.

"Who are you? Actually, where am I?" she found herself in a above-ground sinkhole-like garden. In the middle of the trees and plants a single wooden door stood.

"I am the gate guardian, Kouken. I protect the doorway that allows a dead person to continue to the next life." His purple eyes shone warmly. Azula stood up, making her way to the door. She just wanted a comfortable place to rest in for eternity, and after her rather unfortunate encounter, she couldn't wait to get there.

"But," he stopped her, "You are one of the few people that are not allowed to pass through yet."

"WHAT? WHY?"

"You're not ready. You still have unfinished business on Earth."

"What is that supposed to mean? All I do is sit in my room doing nothing! And many people are not ready to pass on. All those in accidents, victims of crimes…What makes me so special?" Azula was more than grumpy that they wouldn't just leave her in peace and let her go.

"Well, for one, there is something in you that makes you so…noticeable. A different kind of aura, as your friend Ty Lee would put it. You have just so much promise; you couldn't leave just like that. Secondly, you have a part to play in something very important. Thirdly, it doesn't hurt to have a great grand father as an avatar. Now go. I hope to see you in the far future. The very far future. " And before Azula could him what he was babbling about, she felt everything blur and swirl around her. What unfinished business? What great grand father? What?...

"Princess? Princess?" Azula opened her eyes and found herself staring into the amateur nurse's instead.

"Oh thank goodness you're awake! I was just about to call the head doctor. Whew! You gave me quite a scare!" Azula felt sicker than she had ever been in her life. Everything was shaking and she felt like she was going to throw up any second, even though she had nothing in her stomach.

"Get me some food and water! Now!" she tried to say fiercely, but it was hard to when you're half dead from dehydration and starvation.

"Yes Princess." The nurse looked ecstatic. Azula didn't care that she was on strike. The basic human instincts resurfaced. When the nurse came back with water and some sort of watery porridge, she drooled. The nurse held the cup to her lips, and she grabbed it with her teeth, tilting it backwards. Azula did the same with the porridge. Most of the water spilled on her blouse, and she scalded her tongue from the porridge, but Azula would rather try feed herself, thank you very much.

When she was done, the nurse hesitantly took a napkin and cleaned the edges of Azula's mouth. After a few seconds, however, she got irritated and uncomfortable.

"That will do!" she said sharply.

"You may leave now nurse…"her voice trailed off. The nurse tilted her head slightly, puzzled.

"Your name?"

"Oh! Miri." the nurse smiled.

"You may leave now, Mi-ree." Azula tested the unfamiliar name in her mouth. She figured she might as well know the nurse's name. Who knows? It could help her in the future. The nurse bowed and went out.

As Azula tried to find herself a comfortable sleeping position, she wondered what unfinished business she had. To provide a job to the nurses and doctors in the mental facility? She chuckled to herself. Maybe to overthrow her brother. She laughed again, amused at how she would be able to accomplish that feat.

Wait a minute…Azula frowned. Why was she thinking as if Kouken was a real being she saw.

There was no way she could have travelled there, could she?

But the nurse said that she was unconscious for awhile. It obviously meant that she did travel there.

No, her being unconscious could just mean she was sleeping deeply, and that the visit was all just a weird dream.

But it was so real.

Dreams look real.

The signs are there. She obviously died and visited the spirit world.

No, she didn't.

Yes she did!

No!

Yes!

No!

Yes!

N-

"Will you shut up already!" Azula shook her head. At first she really believed that she visited the spirit world, after all she remembered going limp, but now, she believed she fainted and it was a dream. It couldn't have been real.

"I did not visit the spirit world, okay?"

See, she even agrees!

Whatever! I-

"I said shut up!" Azula shouted. When she was sure the voices became quiet, she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

A/N: Bet you expected that, did you? I'm sorry that it's kinda boring. I got bored typing it out too. But it'll get more interesting later on. (I realised that I almost always ends a chapter with Azula falling asleep. Can I get more unimaginative!)

Oh, and Kouken is Japanese for guardian. Miri is Miri 'cos I liked it. :)


	8. ABout smiling and visits

A/N: Hey hey hey! I"M BACK! Well if anyone realised I have been missing for like 2 weeks. That's because I've..I've...I've caught the anime bug! I know I'm very behind time or something. Anyway, don't worry I won't abandon ATLA. Yup, so it's come to my attention(gosh i sound like a teacher) that Azula in my story is very lucid. Just in case, I happen to have a reason for it. Remember in the first Zuko chap. the doctor said that she was about to be released before she suddenly broke down again? Yup, that's the reason, although that's not to say I'm satisfied with the Azula I'm portraying. No matter. So, thank you to Lilac Rose6 again for reviewing, and to answer your comment, I only realised how short it was when I uploaded it, and I was so happy 'cos I thought I wrote extra long! sigh...(and on a **completely unrelated** note, I realised how close our birthdays are...)

So, another thing, writing this story to me is like doing philosophy or something. And I'm not good at philo. at school..so...

BTW, the itallics are Zuko's inner conscious guy. Now, don't tell me no one has one?

* * *

Chapter 7: About smiling and visits

He wonders why he cares for his sister. All his childhood years had been nothing but torment, a large percentage inflicted by her. Years of abuse, years of hurt, years of damage, but yet, why does he care? Because of her, he learnt that paranoia is good, that you can never believe someone too nice. Because of her, he learnt that often behind a smile hides ill intentions. Because of her, he learnt that trust can never be given out freely. How many times had he been put down and shamed? And every single time, she was the reason for it.

"Zuko, you are a disgrace to this family. Even your sister can master this simple move. Why can't you get it in your puny little head?"

"You will never surpass me, dum-dum! I'm not surprised that Father loves me more than you. You're worthless, Zuzu!"

She seemed to be better at everything than him. Firebending, academics, etiquette…Azula was so…so perfect. At least that was the impression she gave Zuko before she broke down. Now it was obvious that she had some major issues. As he looked through pieces of old paintings hidden in a dusty corner room of the palace, he couldn't help but wonder when her smile stopped reaching her eyes, and when exactly she had stopped smiling altogether. He looked at a painting of Azula when she was three, sitting next to their mother. Then a carefree innocent girl, her lips were pulled into the brightest smile he had ever seen. Behind it was a painting when she was five. This time it was painted with him. They were sitting under a tree during what looked like spring. The painter had given her a demure look, but as he looked closer he realized that the painter had drew two small fingers oh-so-subtly pinching a thigh. Zuko couldn't remember this being painted, but that's how it probably happened. Azula had already started bullying her brother even before she started school. There seemed to be a time gap until when Azula was nine. This time she didn't even bother to smile just a tiny little bit. Her face was set at neutral, although it looked darker than before. Zuko realized that their mother had left a year before that. Perhaps she was really affected by her disappearance. And then the last one was when she was twelve, the year he was banished. It was probably painted before he was taught a permanent lesson on his face. Azula wore the same expression of all the firelords hanging on the wall. She was practically scowling! If she was trying to scare someone with her face, she was doing a good job of it. Zuko placed all the hidden paintings side by side. He realized that as she grew up, her smile dimmed until it wasn't one at all. Suddenly, he was struck with a thought. _Maybe Azula descent was not a recent decline. Maybe it started since she was a kid._

Zuko had another revelation. All those years, he had always told himself, _Azula had everything easy. I always had to struggle and work hard to reach to where I am today. _But then he realized, there was always someone behind him. There was always someone supporting him, comforting him, advising him. Mother was always there, and when she left, Uncle came along and treated him like his own son. Then, when Zuko decided to join the gaang, he found a new bunch of friends who, in times of troubles, were there to help him. But, Azula? She was always alone. Even though Ozai favoured her, it seemed that he merely looked at her as a weapon, a useful tool that he could use. There was no doubt that Ozai was fond of Azula, but love her? Probably not. Azula learned early that she could only fully trust herself. Zuko wondered that maybe Azula had first seen Mai and Ty Lee as something useful, but not as friends or anything. Slowly over the years they unintentionally grew on her, and that's why she had been so deeply affected when she was betrayed. This could be a reason. So, Azula was always alone, and when her two companions left, she was more alone than ever. Maybe that's why Zuko cares for his sister, because he's all she has left.

* * *

Zuko gulped. This was it. There was no turning back now. Well, actually he could but then he'll be embarrassed. This is normal. Just a normal friendly visit to your not-so-normal sister. Yeah, this is real normal. Nothing to be afraid about. He calmed himself down. Why was he so nervous to visit his sister? _Well, maybe because you haven't visited her in months when you were supposed to and now you find out she has had a breakdown?_ _And you're scared of her? _He inwardly told the voice in his head to shut up. Zuko sincerely hoped that this trip would not turn ugly.

"My Lord, we have reached the island." The captain bowed.

"Thank You." Zuko hoped his nervous energy wasn't showing as he walked down the platform. To ease his mind, he tried to look at the scenery around him, when he realized there was nothing to look at. The whole island screamed dull and dreary. Firstly, the location. It was in the middle of nowhere, and no matter where you stand on the island all you saw was an endless plain of grey waters. Secondly, the exterior. It wasn't exactly a beach paradise. Rocks littered the bottom of the island so that none of the patients could escape without being crushed to pulp as their bodies got battered against the rocks. The sand was dark brown and dirty, a layer of sea litter over the beach. And as for the building itself? Grey. There happened to be a shortage of white paint when this building was built so the management had to settle for second-best. There was not a flower or shrub in sight. Even a garden was not planted for rehabilitation purposes as the doctors were afraid a patient might use a plant to kill themselves or somehow kill/severely injure another patient. In fact, none of the patients ever come out of their cells unless it is to have a meeting with the psychiatrist as they were dangerous war participants, and therefore having anything aesthetically appealing outdoors was deemed redundant. Zuko sighed. Did the management not spare a thought for the nervous visitors? _Of course not! There are hardly any visitors anyway!_ He growled at his inner logical conscience or whatever it was, and entered the building.

"Good morning, my lord! Please come this way!" Doctor Po San smiled. Zuko smiled and nodded.

"So, how is my sister?"

"After that disastrous breakdown, she seems to neither improving nor deteriorating. She did go on a hunger strike for a few days, but she stopped in the end. And before you ask me, my lord, we didn't inform you as she stopped her strike before we could send a messenger bird out." Po San said. He finally stopped at a door.

"She's inside, my lord. Um…please alert the guards if you are in any way endangered."

"Thank you." Zuko took a deep breath, before opening the door. Immediately his eyes fell on his sister. He blanched. Azula looked…horrible, to put it bluntly. Her cheeks were sunken in, definitely the consequence of her hunger strike. Bloodshot eyes contrasted greatly with pale, almost yellowish skin. Her thin fingers were shaking, and her palms imprinted with nail-shaped scabs. Azula turned her head and looked straight into his eyes. Zuko gulped.

"Hello, brother."

"Hey, Azula." Zuko's palms felt clammy and his legs a little wobbly as he slowly approached the bars that separated him from her. He was apprehensive, as his sister was like some sort of sitting time bomb, one wrong word from him and she could blow.

"So, what brings you here to visit your little sister?" Azula's voice was hoarse, as if she hadn't drunk water for days. She eyed him suspiciously, while licking her chapped lips, giving the fire lord an impression that she was a komodo-lion, waiting to pounce on him, her prey. Wait a minute! _Why should you be scared of her? She can't do anything to you! Stop being a wuss, coward!_ Way to boost self confidence, he thought sarcastically.

"Why can't I visit to see how you're doing?" Azula scoffed, surprising Zuko.

"Yeah, right. Why would you come and visit me just because? What do you want from me Zuzu?"

"Hey, I everytime I visit you I've never done anything to you!" Zuko growled, his temper flaring up.

"Whatever you say." Azula said indifferently, looking at her nails.

"Arghh! You're-You're impossible!" Azula always knew how to irritate Zuko, or rather; Zuko always got irritated by Azula.

"Whatever you say."

"…"Zuko could only clench his fists and try to think happy thoughts or he might just hit his sister. _She's trying to aggravate you. Don't let her get to you! _He counted to 10, before forcing a strained smile on his face.

"So, Azula? Are you feeling better? I heard you went on a hunger strike?"

"Meh, it wasn't working out."

"I'm surprised, you gave up so easily. That's so unlike you, but I guess it can be expected from a mentally unstable person." Ouch. Zuko couldn't resist saying that, but he immediately regretted his actions. There was smoke coming out of Azula's nostrils. _Damn you impulsive mouth!_

"Is that the only reason you're here, brother? To taunt me? To feel good about yourself as you're not in the same situation as me? What do you want from me?" Azula shrieked. Zuko stared at the ground, afraid to look at her. Minutes passed. Suddenly, the firelord heard a sob. _Was-was Azula crying? _

Carefully he looked up. His sister was staring at her hands, as each teardrop made a "clink" sound on the metal wristbands.

"Azula?"

"J-just go away." Zuko was still in shock. _Azula is crying consciously?_ During the comet she was not herself as she threw a tantrum, banging against the drain and crying her heart out. Now she was fully aware and quite lucid, and she was crying in front of him? Zuko had never seen his sister cry since she turned 5. The last few times he had visited she wasn't half as lucid as she was now. It was no wonder he was a little taken aback.

"I SAID GO AWAY!" Azula screamed. Zuko jumped. His sister was breathing hard, baring her teeth like a, as Zuko hated to admit it, wild animal. She had lost the control she had prided herself so much in. Slowly he backed away, before opening her room's door.

"Goodbye Azula, I hope you sleep well tonight." He said, before closing the door behind him. Azula glowered.

"Hope is for fools."

* * *

A/N: Sigh...I didn't know how to end this...Anyway, just a heads-up for those who are planning to try to read this story to the end(and I really appreciate it), there will be more action later on. And the gaang might make a appearence...HINT HINT...

Yup, so R and R people! :)

(And on a totally random note yet again, M. Night. Shama... better** not **screw up Toph..or even Mai and Ty Lee for that matter..**if** they are even going to be in it...)


	9. Woah! Woah! What just happened?

A/N: Hi everybody! Sorry I disappeared for awhile again. Anyway I'm pretty happy, because at a book fair I found a cool ATLA art book! :))))) It has all the pics of the characters and the background etc. It's really cool, but expensive. I bought it anyway. :) Okay, thanks to my reviewers M.L, 2write4life, Lilac Rose6, and Bluelion.

M.L: ...Um...I...I can't tell you what will happen! *covers notes frantically*You'll just have to read...(: BUT you were partially correct...but I might change my story plan...:)

2write4life: Yup, that's actually the reason why I started writing this fanfic, 'cos I felt so sorry for her and she didn't get the happy ending like the rest, so I'm trying to write her maybe happy ending. :)

Lilac Rose6: Whoops, I'm sorry...I just don't have the patience to sit down and write 10000++ words at one go, unlike some people on this site...sigh..:( 22.05.:)

Bluelion: Hmm..that is quite a nice title...I might consider it...;)

So, on with the story!

* * *

Chapter 8: Woah! Woah! What just happened?

"Hope is for fools."

Azula rested her head on her knees as a tear drop from eye. She was feeling so stupid and embarrassed right now. Arghh! How could she cry, in front of ZUKO? So stupid! He was probably laughing at her now. Why couldn't she just control herself? Azula used to be an expert at this, but now she was becoming increasingly aware of her frequent outburst of emotions. Has this been really happening for 5 years now? Did Zuko also see her like this when she first got warded here? _Obviously. _She vaguely recalled actually seeing a lone figure watching her as she watched it through a drug-induced fit. _Well, he has been visiting you for 5 years, it probably doesn't surprise him at all, this behavior of yours! _Ugh. Why. Can't. I. Just. Con. Trol. Her. Self, Azula thought with each bang of her head against the wall. "Now Zuko thinks I'm a pathetic loser multiplied by a thousand! How am I going to look at him when he comes by the next time?" It was too much for Azula to bear. She opened her mouth, and the whole building was invaded by a long, shrill, ear-drum pounding scream for 20 seconds. Finally, she was satisfied. Feeling a little less pent-up, Azula closed her eyes, hoping that another dream would whisk her off to another world, helping her to forget her rather embarrassing outburst.

* * *

Zuko stared out to the dark sky as the methodical swaying of the boat threatened to put him to sleep. Zuko only had one thing to say to the rather failed visit: It was kinda awkward. The conclusion of the trip, well, he hated to say it, but Azula would definitely be staying at the facility. Arghh! There has to be a way to save her! He looked at the moon, and it was full tonight. Zuko knew that she was Yue, Sokka's first love interest and the former Northern Water Tribe Princess. Sometimes, when he felt like he could talk to no one, he would talk to her instead. After all, she could tell nobody.

"Please help me. Show me a way to cure my sister." he silently asked her. Yue just shone the same as before. Zuko shook hiss head and sighed. There has to be a way. There has to be.

* * *

Zuko paced the deck. The ship was almost at the dock, but because of the water currents, they had been pushed back for almost an hour. He had documents to sign, meetings scheduled for today, but most importantly, he needed to see Mai and Aika. After what seemed like forever (but in reality was another half hour), they finally reached the dock. He almost sprinted down the ramp, but thought better of it and brisk walked down instead. However, he was greeted by a grim official. Uh Oh. Grim+Official=Not-so-good-news.

"What is it?" Zuko asked impatiently.

"Um…My Lord…There…has been…a…a…"the official stuttered when he saw the frown on his lord's face.

"What is it? SPIT. IT. OUT." Zuko was about to grab the poor guy's collar.

". ." The official looked down and braced for impact.

"WHAT?" The firelord practically screamed, but in a more manly way(unlike a certain person from the water tribe). The official(poor guy) cowered. Many knew the firelord had a terrible temper, just like the previous lords before him.

"HOW DID THEY SNEAK IN? WHY WERE THE GUARDS NOT ABLE TO PROTECT HIM? HOW COULD YOU ALLOW THEM TO WALTZ IN AND HURT MAI AND AIKA?" Zuko started raving, really brisk walking to the palace.

"My lord, the palanquin is waiting for you. It is not appropriate for the firelord to walk…" the official was jogging to keep up with the younger, more robust firelord.

"DON"T YOU DARE TALK TO ME ABOUT THE *%$#ING PALAQUIN RIGHT NOW!" Zuko glared at him and gave him the evil eye. The official first gasped at the obscene word, and was about to tell Zuko that it wasn't "appropriate" to say it in public, but saw the look on his face, and decided to keep his head. Normally the palanquin would take a secret path to the palace from the docks. However, it was much faster to pass through the town, and that was exactly what Zuko was doing. The villagers saw the fury in their lord's eyes, and immediately parted like the red sea, bowing. Sifu Hotman, as his nickname suggests, hotheadedly ignored every single one of them and walked through, the official and palanquin bearers desperately trying to keep up with him. "Please don't take them away from me!" he silently prayed.

After 10 minutes Zuko reached the palace gates. A contingent of guards stood in a row on either side of the palace courtyard. Zuko hotheadedly ignored them as well. Finally, finally he got into the palace and broke into a run. He couldn't care less about the shocked maids and gaping guards. All he could think of was Mai and Aika. Zuko burst into the infirmary. A reclining black-clad figure caught his eye.

"MAI!" he gasped. She opened one eye and glanced at him. Bits of hair had escaped from his crown and he had the most panicky expression she had ever seen. If the situation had not been so serious she would have smiled.

"Hey." she said. Zuko crossed the room and gave her a big suffocating hug. He started sobbing.

"I-I d-don't want t-to lose y-you…"he started.

"Z-uko…you're…hurting me…" Mai wheezed. He quickly let go and wiped his nose.

"S-Sorry…"

"You big doofus." Mai rolled her eyes, but she managed a smile. Suddenly the wound at her side jolted her with a sharp pain and she hissed.

"SHOULD I CALL THE DOCTOR?"

"No need, just help me lie down." Zuko gently assisted her.

"So, what happened? AND WHERE"S AIKA?" He jumped up again, realizing that his daughter had not been lying next to his wife.

"Zuko, please, sit down." Mai pulled his arm. He sighed, and did as he was told.

"I was sitting with Aika at the pond, in broad daylight, when I hear a rustle in the tree nearby. There was no wind today, and I got suspicious. Obviously, I threw a shuriken at that guy and he fell out. His teammates leapt out from above the roof and surrounded us."

"WERE YOU HURT? OH…" Out of instinct Zuko asked, but realized his mistake.

"Yeah, Zuko, I stabbed myself." Mai gave him a look, before continuing. "I took out all of them except the leader. He threw his knife and was trying to aim for my heart, but apparently the rebels couldn't find someone with better aim. Anyway, Aika shrieked and the whole palace knew. He panicked, and took out a knife to throw at her. Not before I stabbed his arm of course."

"Where is she?" Zuko was halfway out of the room, and his voice was dangerously low. Mai treaded carefully with her answer.

"Well, he missed her heart. You'll find her in the isolation room. She's..um…pretty fragile." By the time Mai looked up, Zuko was gone. Agni help the doctor there, she thought.

Zuko walked stiffly to the isolation, which in fact was just next to the infirmary. The doctor(bless his soul), who immediately spotted the fuming firelord, quickly got up and bowed low.

"I'm sorry, my lord, but no one is allowed into the isolation room." he said. Zuko ignored him and tried to go in. The guards blocked his path. He was speechless. He, Zuko, the firelord, was being blocked by his own guards to see his daughter?

"I'm sorry, my lord, but if you truly care for the princess you would stand outside. Her immune system is dangerously low at the moment. With all due respect, you have just visited Princess Azula and might be carrying bacteria that would leave you unaffected but might otherwise hurt your daughter." Zuko stopped. The doctor was right. He sighed.

"Can I at least see her from a distance?" he pleaded. The doctor nodded and opened the door partially. His breath hitched in his throat. Aika looked so pale and weak. Her left arm was wrapped in rolls of bandages and she seemed to be in a medicine-influenced sleep. It was unfortunate that Katara couldn't be here now.

"Will she be fine?"

"Um…we should think so." The doctor replied nervously, refusing to look Zuko in the eye. It was obvious he was lying.

"You're not telling me something." Zuko stared the doctor down. He sighed in defeat.

"We did not want to tell you for fear that you might react, uh…none to peacefully. The princess might not regain full use of her arm." Smoke came out of Zuko's nose. If he wasn't mad just now he definitely was now.

"Was the assassin captured?" Zuko asked again, in a barely-controlled whisper.

"Y-yes." The doctor said. The firelord's fists exploded into flames, as he stormed off to the jailhouse. The doctor shook his head. Somebody was going to get hurt today.

* * *

A/N: I know, it was a lame title, I couldn't think of anything. And I sincerely apologise if the Zuko being angry scene was actually amusing. It was supposed to be serious as it was such a dangerous event but he turned out kinda dorkish and overeactive and...funny. Sigh...Anyway, I'm off to work on my other story which is also long overdue. I'll see ya...sometime...:)


	10. Interrogating and such

A/N: HEEEYYYY GUYS! Firstly, Happy New Year to everyone! Hope you have a wonderful 2011! So, it took me awhile to publish this. Like it has been 2 weeks? Anyway, school's started. Sigh...this is an important year for me 'cos it's streaming and choosing subject combination so I wonder if I'll have the time to publish anything. Ah well, I try my best! :) So thanks to my reviewers M.L, BlueLion and Furionknight.

M.L: :)

BlueLion: Yeah I pity the poor guy...

Furionknight: Thanks for the smiley. :)

Anyway, I'll like to say again to all the people who read this, whether you review or not, that I really really appreciate it. I know I sound like I'm giving a oscar speech or something but seriously, thank you. :D

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Chapter 9:Interrogating and such

Zuko walked up the path to the metal door. A trail of fiery footprints left its mark on the gravelly stone walkway. The guards, seeing their lord fuming, quickly stepped aside and bowed deeply. Zuko slammed his palm against the door. It flew open with a loud bang, and would have unhinged if not for the newly replaced metal hinges. Immediately the various guards and the warden, who happened to be standing near the entrance, bowed.

"F-Firelord."

"Where. Is. HE?" Zuko snapped. The guards looked at each other, confused.

"Uh…who my lord?"

"THE ASSASSIN!" The firelord shouted, exasperated. The warden hastily stepped forward.

"Oh, yes. Right this way my lord."

Sensing Zuko's impatience and red-hot anger, the warden led him through the dimly-lit halls as fast as his legs could carry him. Finally, they came to a stop at a door. Gingerly the warden pushed the door. Zuko pushed past him, his knuckles white from clenching. Slowly he attempted to pep-talk himself. Okay Zuko, calm down. Don't do anything rash. Just stay ab-so-lute-ly calm…breathing in, the firelord looked up. The assassin was chained at the wrists and ankles, suspended uncomfortably in midair. What caused Zuko's jaws to drop to the ground, however, was that the assassin was a lady!

Didn't Mai say the assassin was a he? He felt his resolve break a little. It's a woman…but it doesn't mean this will pardon her crimes! Zuko set his jaw, and walked up the platform.

In the meantime, the assassin, whose name happen to be Xian Dou, watch the firelord as he ascended the platform. He, to be honest, looked ready to detonate. However, she had heard stories about him. Firelord Zuko could not kill anyone. He would not. That gave her a glimmer of hope. Maybe she would find a way to escape before she was hanged.

Zuko stood in front of Xian Dou and leaned forward, their noses almost touching.

"Who is your leader?" Zuko whispered, his voice shaky from anger.

"Really, is that the way to treat a lady? How gentlemanly." Xian Dou laughed. He can't kill me…

Zuko barely resisted the urge to wipe her grin off her face. He was brought up with manners, and one should never hit a girl, after all.

"Let me start over. What is your name?"

"Ah, that I'll answer. My name is Silent Nightshade."

Zuko quirked an eyebrow.

"Like an alter ego?"

"No! It's my name."

"Don't play games with me." Zuko growled. This assassin, or Silent Nightshade, was really getting on his nerves.

"It's true. I gave up my birth name a long time ago."

"Okay fine, whatever. Now tell me, who do you work with?"

"I work in operation royal wipeout, or that's what I like to call it anyway." Zuko sighed. Silent Nightshade was beating around the bush. He grabbed her throat.

"Let me ask you again. What organization are you working with?" Zuko hissed. Xian Dou smiled painfully.

"I couldn't say. That would be betrayal. You of all people should know about betrayal." Xian Dou croaked out, as Zuko's hand tightened, and rose to an uncomfortably hot temperature.

"What do you hope to achieve with this?" Xian Dou sighed dramatically, in spite of the hand curled around her neck.

"Tsk, tsk, isn't it obvious? We want to take over what is rightfully ours and do that we have to bump you off of course. And you know what? Just a few inches more and I would have finish off your precious wife and daughter." She choked out the last few words. Zuko's hand glowed red. Unfortunately for Xian Dou the guards outside were waiting for screams of torture or something along those lines and were blissfully unaware that she was being strangled with a burning hand.

"How DARE you try to murder my family, and remain nonchalant about it? HUH?" Zuko shouted. Xian Dou's throat was on fire, literally, and she wasn't getting any air. Her lungs started burning, as she gasped for air. She wanted to pry his hands off, if only she wasn't chained. It wasn't long before she started to black out, as her eyes rolled back into her forehead.

"ZUKO!" He whipped his head around, alone to find a grim Mai clutching her side.

"Zuko get a hold of yourself! You're killing the woman!" she said, failing to conceal the panic she was feeling. It was scary to see your husband lose control like that. Zuko looked at his hand and the unconscious woman, before releasing his grip. Xian Dou's head dropped forward, her body already limp. (When I mean drop forward I don't mean she got decapitated, ok? Just clarifying.)

"Shit. Shit. SHIT!" Zuko shook the assassin's shoulder, realizing the graveness of the situation. He hadn't even realized when she blacked out.

"GET ME A WET TOWEL! HURRY!" Zuko brushed past the shocked Mai, screaming at the also shell-shocked guards. When they didn't do anything however, Zuko ripped the hem of his robe off and soaked it in the nearest barrel. The smell of alcohol wafted through the air. Arghh! He'll reprimand the prison about this secret stash of wine later. At least it wasn't oil or something. Zuko leapt up the steps and wrapped the cloth round Silent Nightshade's neck. He was hoping it would cool down her neck and possibly pull her a little further away from death's grip. He could feel the cloth heating up already. She wasn't waking up though. Thinking ahead Zuko dragged the wine barrel up the steps. After a few soaked cloths Silent Nightshade wasn't waking up. He was afraid she really became silent, permanently.

"Come on, wake up…" In a desperate act Zuko splashed all the wine in the barrel onto the assassin. Her coughing was like music to his ears.

"My-my base is at the Earth Kingdom city of Jin Bao. It's located just outside the walls in a mountain cave. I know my boss answers to a bigger man but we are not told who he or she is. Our mission was to kill off the entire royal family. We didn't expect you to visit your sister so early." Xian Dou confessed. She had been so close to death, she didn't think she could endure another near death experience. Zuko and Mai winced at the bright red skin covering her throat. By then the warden had appeared at the doorway.

"Please escort this lady to the infirmary." Zuko asked. The warden bowed, and motioned two nearby guards to unchain the weak Xian Dou. Zuko watched guiltily as the assassin was carried away, too weak to stand by herself. Mai began to walk out. He touched her shoulder.

"Thanks for stopping me, Mai." he whispered, hanging his head in shame. The corners of the fire lady's lips curled upwards.

"That's why I'm here, to keep you in check. Just try not to lose it like that again."

* * *

Azula was in a reflective mood today. Actually it was all she could do in her little abode. She shifted her body a little to sit in the warm rays coming in through the metal grills. Azula had a pretty good view of the sea from her position. Little fishing boats bobbed along in the currents. She scoffed. They were nowhere close to the warships Azula used to travel in. Sighing, she missed being free and independent, instead of spending every single minute of her life stuck in this box. Well, she only travelled to carry out her father's orders but she would do that any day than being locked in chains. To be free to firebend and observe her surroundings...

Azula never enjoyed exploring new places like her lazy uncle. She always saw these places as an opportunity for exploitation which she was very fond of. No matter how disgusting the place was there was always something to get out of it. If not then a chance to instill fear into those lowlifes. This would ensure they would always remain loyal to the firenation. Azula was always thinking about the fire nation. She had devoted her whole life to serving it. All her actions were to ensure that the fire nation would become the strongest empire in the entire history of this earth. She was going to lead this nation to bigger things when she became firelord, because she lov-, no cared very much for it.

_Azula, you know why I'll pass the throne to you? Because you and I are the same: we want power. We need it._

So maybe caring for her nation was a big fat excuse. So maybe the only reason she worked so hard for her father was because she had wanted the throne for herself. So maybe the reason she served the fire nation was because she wanted the power.

All her life Azula always felt that she was not in control. You control your own fate, people say. But she can't help feeling that it had always been mapped out for her, in permanent ink, and she couldn't change her destiny. It was fate she was born after Zuko. It was fate she was never close to her mother. It was fate no one cared about her. It was fate she had two unreliable accomplices. It was fate she fell to her own mind. It was fate her brother got the throne in the end, while she didn't. It was all fate Azula believed, and she couldn't have changed it even though she had tried.

She tried outshining her brother so that she could have a better chance of getting the throne. She tried getting close to her mother, but they drifted apart, her mother always never giving her a chance to explain herself. People thought just because she was a prodigy she could take care of herself. She spent the most crucial years by herself. She tried using fear to seal her position as master over the two-who-shall-not-be-named. Look where that got her. She couldn't stop her losing battle with herself. By the time she realized something was not quite right, it was too late. In the end, she even tried killing her brother, but now he's sitting all comfortable on the throne. She tried changing her fate, but a fat lot that did for her.

Azula never was in control. Behind the cool, calm, ruthless exterior was a girl who was confused and desperate. Sometimes even she believed everything was going fine, but she was chipping away piece by piece, and the day she lost the Agni Kai was when the mask she put on shattered completely and her true self was exposed for all to see.

* * *

A/N: Yeah I know the ending was unoriginal and suckish, but whatever. And HAH! I betcha didn't see that coming right? The female assassin I mean. I didn't see it coming too. I was just about to start writing the scene when I thought hey wouldn't it be interesting if it was a girl instead? NOW I know Mai said it was a guy in the previous chapter but let's assume she couldn't see her face and she was wearing loose clothes so Mai couldn't see her, you know, chest. Also if you've realised I interchanged between Silent Nightshade(now where did that name come from) and Xian Dou. It's 'cos I want to show the diff. between who she really is and her life as an assassin. Ya...oh and just FYI, Xian is chinese for dangerous and Dou is Japanese for servant. Gosh I just love making names with meanings...*dreamy look* if you would like to see Xian Dou again maybe you could PM or review? She does seem interesting doesn't she. :)

See you in 2 weeks maybe? :)


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